When my little ones are watching TV these days, they aren’t interested in the traditional networks. They seldom even ask for Nick Jr. or Disney anymore. Instead, they want Netflix. As it plays, every so often, it asks, “Are You Still Watching?” and I have to go push the button on the remote. Well, actually, I’ve taught Damion to do it himself, but I still do it for the others.
The other day, it occurred to me that my blogs are sitting here asking, “Are you still there?” Every so often, Facebook tells me I haven’t posted to my writing page in a while and I really should do something. I just don’t seem to find the time….or, actually, I just haven’t been making the effort.
So, today, I’ve decided I need to let the world know that I am still functioning, just not as efficiently as I should. So, here I am. It’s Sunday afternoon. I don’t have any childcare responsibilities, I have decided to skip the Veteran’s Day parade, the church website is updated. I have checked email and Facebook. The supper menu is simple and only takes about half an hour to fix. It’s quiet and I need to get back to writing.
Actually, I’ve been thinking about it for a month or so. Jim nags me every once in a while because I’ve left posting to the Roadtrip blog that we share entirely up to him for months. My reminders to check the Flash Fiction sites for prompts every week still pop up regularly.
I do have the time. Not always in predictable blocks, but it could be organized. I usually have from around 9am until 1pm on Monday, the whole day after around 9am on Wednesdays, all day Saturdays and most Sunday afternoons free. Plus, on Thursday and Friday between 11am and 2pm, I mostly only have Elaina, who is four, and doesn’t require a lot of attention. In addition, Ashley (Damion and Elaina’s mom) gets off work at 4pm. I am almost always free by 4:30 every day.
I could be writing. I have, at least, a couple of hours every day. I just haven’t felt inspired. No, that’s an excuse. I’ve just been stagnating, drifting in a swamp of disorganization. Using the excuse of playing taxi for the kids to avoid exercising my brain. Instead, I have been reading for hours every day.
So, yes, I am still here. I’ve just been watching instead of doing, reading instead of writing. I will force myself to step outside the inertia of the past few months and make my presence known. Stay tuned for further updates.
I need a moment or two, maybe a week or so. Davie was the wall at my back as much as anyone else’s. Maybe even more because we shared a home, although we each had our own space and didn’t spend our days or evenings together because we didn’t have the same taste in TV shows and we only ate in the diningroom when we had family over. So, whoever cooked would tell the other when food was ready. We’d fill our plates and go our separate ways for the evening. 
Bishop Spong is giving me much food for thought. I really don’t believe that God wants us to simply accept everything we are told about Him at face value. I feel “called” to dig deeper, to study, and also to use the brain He gave me to think about what I find and use the logic He also gave me to decide what is “True.” I can accept the idea that the men who wrote the books of the Bible were God inspired. Even the men who chose which books to include may have been God inspired. However, they were still men, subject to error in spite of that inspiration. They viewed the revelations they were given through the lens of their own experience. If you are exposed to an idea or vision outside your experience and knowledge, you must relate it to something familiar in order to understand it.