I hear so many people wish to recover their youth.  Other than a longing for a slimmer, stronger body, there is nothing in my past that I would be interested in reliving.  I don’t want to go back and change it.  That might cancel out many of my joys.  Although, for most of my years, I was stressed out and struggling to make ends meet there were more joys than sorrows.

I still don’t have much money, but it doesn’t bother me as much without children begging for things I can’t afford to give them, like anything beyond the bare necessities.  The sentence I remember most clearly hearing from my two younger daughters was, “Cover your ears, she’s trying to tell us we’re poor again.”  Even though my reasons for leaving their father were good ones and I never considered going back, I felt guilty about the lower standard of living they had to adjust to, just when they were becoming teenagers with all the associated craving for the “latest thing.”  There were years when even providing three meals a day was a challenge.  But, those years helped shape them as well as me into the people we are today.  Changing them would change us.

We survived and all five of my children are strong, independent, and self-supporting.  Their children are just entering adulthood and seem to be learning how to be the same.  Three of them have gifted me with great-grandchildren.  I was closely involved in the raising of about half my grandchildren and am currently serving as caregiver to one of the greats while his mother works and goes to school.  Grandchildren can be much better than children.  There is usually less responsibility and expense, but just as much love and joy and “keeping up with” that young one helps you stay young as well. ( Read more )